Breathe

Ikebukuro after lunchtime

Life is good.

Putting aside all the difficult times in the States, life is good. But since I am in Japan, I am allowed to do that. In fact, I have to do that. There is no way I could function here at school if I didn't put it all aside.

Granted, I still don't sleep well; thinking of the mess that I call my life. But I have to give myself some time to breathe, in order to think.

I am still reading 'The Wedding', by Nicholas Sparks, and everyday I become more enveloped in the story; in the romance and in the beauty. It is so nice to read something that doesn't require much thinking.

"Later, when I did at last crawl into bed, I slipped under the covers and turned my face to my wife. Her breathing was steady and deep, and I could see her eyelids fluttering, letting me know that she was dreaming. Of what, I wasn't sure, but her face was peaceful, like that of a child. I stared at her, wanting and not wanting to wake her, loving her more than life itself. Despite the darkness, I could see a lock of hair lying across her cheek, and I stretched my fingers toward it. Her skin was as soft as powder, timless in its beauty. Tucking the strand of hair behind her ear, I blinked back the tears that had mysteriously sprung to my eyes."

-The Wedding, Nicholas Sparks

It is so nice to be able to actually have time to read. I read most times on the train while I am traveling to and from school. It is about forty minutes to get to school and about 30-40 on the way back. It usually takes longer in the morning because of the rush hour. I am usually crammed on the train, standing a foot taller than most people on the train.

Being big has its ups and downs in Japan. Let me weigh some of the pro's and con's for you.

PRO'S:

1. I can push people.
2. I can see over most people to view the train schedules.
3. I am easy to spot for my friends.
   
4. People are rather intimidated, thus preventing muggings (something that is already rare here).
5. I am the first to be picked for the sports teams.
6. I have an excuse for not wearing the fashionable skinny jeans worn by most men here.
   
7. The older lunch ladies always add on a little bit more rice and curry sauce when they dish me out food.
   

CON'S:

1. People usually push me because, for some reason (probably because I look like a stereotypical, big, stupid American), they think that I will not move for them. My feet aren't bricks, you know?
2. I am even more able to pick out of a crowd. I am already white, have an American accent, and dress differently. Just add 'giant' to that list.
   
3. Intimidation does not make friends.
4. I feel pressure to live up to the expectations of being a "big, strong American".
5. I can't fit into any clothes. What I packed is what I am wearing.
6. People always assume that I am hungry and want to eat ALL THE TIME. Even when I am full, they don't believe me.
   
7. I probably hear at least four or five 'big' jokes a day. Most related to my weight.
   
8. You always know when I enter and leave class because I can't fit through the aisles without knocking over at least one chair and repositioning the whole row of tables.
   

My classes went really well today. I had three: Japanese (3 hours long), Language, Media, and Gender (1.5 hours), and Sumi-e Painting (1.5 hours). I especially enjoyed the LMG course. We discussed the social construct of gender vs. its direct influence from sex. Quite the discussion. It is suppose to be all about Japan, but our instructor wants us to draw from our own experiences. Even more interesting.

The crazy thing to think about is that, since my classes (except Japanese) only meet once a week, I am only meeting with them 14 more times.

Keep me updated with things in the states. I would really love to hear from you!

Love. Peace. Always.

Seth